Saturday, April 3, 2010

rest stop on the Highway to Hell

lately the catholics are getting a lot of bad press, and deservedly so. personally, i feel like most religions are the same. Its much like the monkeys at the zoo picking through the pile of feces looking for the undigested peanuts. if your willing to deal w/ the filth factor you may find something to sustain you.
As hard as it is to accept any one religion after 10 yrs of catholic school i'm too afraid to be an atheist, then i realized that hypocrisy is sort of a cornerstone of the whole thing. So i can be a total piece of shit and just apologize later. I'm planning a deathbed confession. The nuns at Our lady of Victory told me that if even hitler had done it he'd have gone right to heaven.
So here's how it changed my Bucket List-
- kill a guy for fun
- steal a car and use it to rob a bunch of 7-11's
- then spend the money gambling
-tear labels off mattresses every chance i get
- run someone over in a prius so no one can say its my fault
- Fart in every meeting i go to for the rest of my life
- watch the erin andrews video
- try crack
- maybe some smack too
- actually eat some of the steamer tray food that is inexplicably at some strip clubs (like i said its a bucket list)
- convince kids waiting for bus schools a waste of time, give them 50 bucks and a bag of weed just to ruin their lives
- go to the home for whacked out old nuns & thank them for the life changing advice.... with a case of bourbon
- throw water balloons at a cop.
- put a boxing gloce at end of a spring and use it to punch people who cut me off
- carry a seltzer bottle for same reasons but w/ a 3 Stooges twist
- read hardcore porn on the plane to freak out person next to me. Then refuse to stop reading it unless they have a bible, telling them im an all or nothing kind of guy
- pay a hookers to paint someone's house while theyre on vacation (don't make me angry)
- take a job i hate just to grand stand and see if i can drive boss to quit
- go one interviews for jobs i dont want just to be offensive and demand off on Hitler's birthday & day after Superbowl before i even sit down
- then make the HR person cry because lets face it they fire people and really should hate their jobs
- continue shouting the most vile profanity at all parking and code enforcement people, calling them "Parking Nazi's" (everyone should do this actually) then tell them if they don't like it get a real job or become a real cop.
- do a sequel one man show of "Vagina Monologues 2-Answering Cervix"
- paint my house and sidewalk black to freak people out

anyway there's a comment box. if you have an idea, even if its a bad one, i still might try it

Thursday, April 1, 2010

REM End of the World as we know it. a good soundtrack for this McRant
here we go-
ANARCHY ANARCHY ANARCHY! its not just a trendy t-shirt anymore! Anyone look on the UEI benefits site lately? I have either nothing, 2 weeks or 6 weeks or possibly 20 weeks left. Someone wanna tell me how to unfuck that huge question mark? Thank christ i only have to buy medicine like 2x times before the drug laws kick in, should put some nice $ back in my pocket. Meanwhile i can't wait to go to the clinic in hempstead, w/ some guy sweating out the wait for methadone, for meds. Should be a real cool time.
I'm McFucked, McBroke, McSick and McPissed. Now, i wont be doing any craqzy stuff, because i got just me to worry about and i owe no real $, but theres plenty of people who bought houses they had no biz owning, lost $ and now live, well, who the fuck knows? I feel like a trend setter being as how divorce and illness had kicked my ass and i only got it together when the rest of you starting getting fired.
IF there really is a gap, then i foresee the same thing that happened last gap. People going on spree shootings, crashing small planes into Gov't buildings, taking it all out on police.
Meanwhile, on Hitler's B-day/ Kill a bunch of people for no reason in Oklahoma City/ Waco day theres a 4 MILLION GUN MARCH ON WASHINGTON??? Anyone realize that you can't carry there?? How many guns per person will be needed to get to 4 million? some of you dig guns, cool, your right. Theres no law for walking down the street spinning a butchers knife on a string, but it'll def land you in jail. Same thing when really angry people are in proximity of guns. These people want a literacy test for voting? i want a rohrshack test on wanna be gun owners.
And seriously, outside the hands of a cop theres no legitimate use for handguns.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

man i'm super hungry and all i can think about is a fucking cheeseburger and fries. I guess i'm a plebian or a philistine or whatever, because when i'm really hungry thats my go-to food. Well, it's actually a philly cheese steak but i can't get a decent one this side of astoria. Sometimes i take the 40 min round trip just to enjoy the heart clogging goodness of a king's Deli cheese steak, but now i sound like Larry King.
So here's my thing- I'm so fucking sick of everyone turning everything towards healthcare. I'm sick of both sides. I'm sick of the lies all over. I'm sick of status quo and i'm irritated so many people wwere so hoodwinked into lining up against their best interests. When the republican's took a strong stand against their own ideas being included why didn't they fucking drop 'em?
Obama needs to grow a goatee and a pair of balls or he's next Jimmy Carter. Finally an accomplishment. Dubious to be sure, but an accomplishment.
it's hard to believe this nation was founded on a tax revolt, but I'd rather give my $ to the gov't then some fucking for profit insurance company that is, in and of itself, a death panel.
BTW- how many isolated incidents of tea bagger violence before they stop talking up guns all the time? Most of those people are too old or too unbalanced to ever be near a gun, let alone own one. Pistols should be universally illegal. Serve absolutely no practical purpose outside the hands of a cop
This week 8 million Americans cashed their final unemployment check. I'm thinking by this time next week we'll be homing in on some sort of Anarchy Day. Stock up on water & canned goods!