Monday, February 7, 2011

aguilera experiment,National Anthem

We all know about aguilera's enormous fail at the Superbowl. A National Anthem so botched it will making us a laughingstock overseas forever. Still i think most people would do worse when even one person is watching, especially if you ambush them when they've had a few and are playing with dangerous fireworks at the Fourth of July party. So never mind the fact that shes a pro and got probably a few hundred thousand to make what amounts to her own commercial. The songs about 75 seconds long. So with the advertising for the this years SuperBowl at 3 million dollars a minute, so in a way she would have realized something like 4.5 million in free PR. She's the real life Enrico Pollazzo from the 1st Police Squad movie.
I gave myself a pop quiz and tried to sing the song. I blew it. Only thing of note was it ran 75 seconds. So i at least had the pentameter correct. I didn't record it but i was able to get through it with moderate difficulty. Its a tough song to sing. Also, unexpectedly, i started to have a lot of emotion about it. After i sang the line with "and the rockets ready glare" i had uncontrollable vibrato because i actually got emotional. The second and third attempt i still couldn't do all the lines correctly but they all were 70-75 seconds long.
Notably, if you sing the song three times in a row there's a good chance you'll become emotional. You think about every single baseball game you ever went too, where its possible they have been singing the national anthem for 100 years and is a key sequence in any good baseball movie. Plus all the other patriotic emotions and thinking about the suffering of all the soldiers throughout American history well up. You feel grateful. So its hard not to almost tear up a bit.
That said all celebrities come off as greedy out of touch idiots most of whom, like mel gibson or to a much lesser extant Tim Robbins should just keep their political ideas to themselves. So its really hard to feel bad for any celebrity.
Ok, after taking a quick break to smoke a cigarette and really torment my esophagus, I tried to sing The Star Spangled banner again, tis time while looking at the lyrics. It still never exceeded 80 seconds. I was finally over the wave of patriotism and i sang with a bit of flourish. One mistake in pitch and you end up in an inescapable raise of octave, so you gotta really be thinking. None the less i was able to imagine myself in the infoeld of a packed Yankee Stadium before a big game and i know i would never be able to do it right the 1st time. i just wouldn't. Unless... of course i used a monitor or read them off the scoreboard, which i think will be mandatory for all future renditions if they continue to do it live.
Christina is stuck with this and its damaged her career for all time. Still, she's talented and still has a decent amount of fans and has made millions. If thisd is the worst thing that ever happens to her shes still had a better life than me. So I guess its no big deal that she's saddled with this ignominious performance for the rest of her life and every time someone goes in front of that mic with the entire world watching and start singing with those fateful words;"Oh say can you see...?"